Welcome to the World of Idiosyncrasies

Hello and Welcome to my world. Here, you are free to feel as you feel without guarding your emotions, without acting matured and rational etc etc etc. Its an idiosyncratic world and you have every right to feel happy, sad, upset, cheerful, grumpy or whatever else you feel like!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

For You

Ever missed someone so much that you wanted to pick them up from your memories and hug them?

I am miserable.
I miss you but I am scared to show it.
I want to talk to you but would hate to disturb you.
I want to hear your voice but fear being seen as desperate.
I want to hold your hand but am not courageous enough to make the first move.
I want to keep looking into your eyes but I ask you to not look at me instead!
Yes, I am miserable.
Miserably in love!

You are pathetic.
Do you miss me as badly as I do?
Do you want to talk to me till the end of this world?
Do you want to hear my voice just as badly as I want to hear yours?
Do you want to hold my hand till the day I die?
Will you look into my eyes as if time has stopped and as if there is no tomorrow?
Yes, you are pathetic.
But will you be pathetically in love with me? Forever?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Momentary

Isn't it strange that how there are always certain things that become more evident when we voice them, or perhaps, when they fall in retrospective of our situation or condition? For instance, they say that "Time is a great healer." We, however, I feel; probably do not realize its good and bad unless we face it's impact in our lives.

Two days ago, forgetting you seemed like the end of the world. Tears welled up every time I thought how you left mid-way; leaving so many things unsaid and unheard! Almost like stranding the conversation. Well then, was it wrong that I missed you? "You" who weren't my boyfriend, not even a close friend or a confidante even? Is it wrong to miss a random stranger for whom I develop a liking?

Then be it!! Cuz it doesn't work that way and I did miss you. But this too shall pass. Just as the pain has, the happy times spent with you have....this too, shall pass.
What remains is an emptiness. A longing. Of what? you might ask. I fear I know not the answer.. But who knows? Maybe the longing shall pass too! To be replaced by happy thoughts, memories, pain, further expectations and more longing.

And then...that too shall pass!



What remains then?

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I am the "Nothing" Girl

Maybe I like straight cut jeans
and salwar suit with flip-flops,
Maybe I don't like listening to rock music
and I'm not on the social mountaintops,
Maybe I don't care about the things
that make your worlds twirl,
Maybe you look at me and think:
See, what a nothing girl.

Maybe I like giving smiles
which seems to be a sin today,
And maybe I allow my imagination
to sometimes run away,
Maybe you don't understand this
and that's why you cannot see.
If this makes me a nothing girl,
Hey, that's absolutely ok with me!

The world makes you believe
your personality mustn't be detected,
Your face must be picture perfect
and wear clothes just the best, to be accepted.

But maybe..
Just maybe you know?
I look at you
and feel sorry that you're blind,
Robots you have became,
yourself you'll never find!!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Sapno Ka Vyapaar

Rishton ki iss andher nagri mein
Ek kolaahal sa chhaya hai,
Jhoothey vaade aur sasti kasmein lekar
Aaj phir ek lutera aaya hai

Pehchaan nahi paayega koi jhooth ko
Aisi uski maya hai,
Sunehrey sapney dikhata hai woh, Lage ke
Jaise aankhon pe pada koi saaya hai

Chhal kapat sab jeetey uskey
Aaj dil ko phir koi bhaaya hai

...

Bikhra chahat, yaadein kasmein bikhri
Bewafai ko bhi aisi wafa se usne nibhaya hai

Iss kadar huwa vaar, na sambhley hum
Pyaar bhi aaj lajaya hai,
Tanha chal pade the kabhi jis raah pe
Khud ko aaj wahin phir se tanha paaya hai

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Kuchh Kahee Kuchh Ankahee

Jab rooh bojhal ho aati hai
Aankhein ho padti hai num,
Jo tum nahi toh kis se bhala
Kahengey dil ki baatein hum?

Jab uljhan mein hota hai mann
Jab karwat leti hai dhadkan,
Jo tum nahi toh kis se bhala
Kahengey dil ki baatein hum?

Jab dimag hota hai bechain
Jab uski dil se hoti hain anban,
Jo tum nahi toh kis se bhala
Kahengey dil ki baatein hum?

Jab tark shakti pe parda sa chhaye
Jab khud se khud ko ho uljhan,
Jo tum nahi toh kis se bhala
Kahengey dil ki baatein hum?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

JEET – THE LOSER

Jeet looked out of the window towards the setting sun & wondered why his life didn’t set down as the sun did. It was painful to live a life of guilt. Five years. Five years of guilt to be precise. His life had changed & there was just nothing that he could do about it. Tears welled in his eyes as he looked out of the window. If only it had not happened, life would have been so different.

He was jolted out of his thoughts by the loud arguments between his nephews. He looked at them. The thoughts came tumbling back to his mind. He was the one who had turned them into orphans. If only that wretched accident had not taken place. If only……..

It had been a day to celebrate when his wife had told him that she was expecting their first child. His happiness had known no bounds. “A dinner followed by a drive” was what they had planned. His sister and her husband had also joined them. They had decided to leave the kids at home. After all, it was not often that they got the chance to spend time on their own. They went for a long drive.

“One wrong turn and down you go!” Jeet had always said. He had been a safe driver, but not that day. The music in the car had been too loud for them to hear the honk of the oncoming truck. By the time he realized, it was too late. He swerved the car and it hit against the ratings.

The next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital.

It had been a head-on collision. No one had survived. The doctors had given up hope on him too. They had said that he too would not survive. But survive he did. Survived to live the life of guilt.

The accident had left him paralyzed. If only he had been a little more careful, the accident would not have taken place. His survival haunted him. The guilt was unbearable. He always wished that he had died along with the others, but fate had not decided that for him. If only he had not survived, he would not be living in his world of guilt. If only nobody had died in the accident ……….. Why did it happen to him? Why did he have to live a life of guilt? if only he could do something… if only… that was all that he thought all the while …… if only!

He was jolted out of his thoughts by his nephews who were arguing in the corridor. It was their daily routine to play cricked in the long corridor! He looked at them with tears in his eyes. He blamed himself for turning them into orphans.

“Uncle, here is your food.”

He looked on, the feeling of guilt engulfing him.

“Uncle, here is your dinner,” said Sahil, his eldest nephew. Jeet looked at him and smiled, “No, I shall join you at the dining table tonight. Can you wheel me there?” His nephew shot an amazed glance. Was he hearing right? He was delighted. Jeet’s parents looked at each other when they saw Sahil wheeling Jeet to the dining table. At last he was coming out of his cocoon. They were glad that he was making an attempt to get out of his shell.

It was during one of the cricket games his nephews were playing that the through crossed his mind. It was one of the usual arguments when he intervened, “Why don’t you let me be the umpire? I know the game well, and of course, you will not argue either,” he said. His nephews were game for it, and then he joined them every evening to play with them.

“Why don’t I also play with you all?” he asked, “one of you could wheel me and we can really have a good time. His nephews readily agreed. It was nice to see their uncle participate in their game. And it was during one of these games that it happened……

Sahil was wheeling his uncle to take the run, and it happened in a matter of seconds. Sahil stopped, but his uncle on the wheel chair didn’t. Sahil watched in horror as he saw Jeet fall down the long winding staircase. He saw him cringe in pain for a few seconds. When he reached down, Jeet was a mere lifeless lump.

Two years later …….

Sahil looked out of the window towards the setting sun. Tears in his eyes he wondered why did it happen?

If only, he had run slowly ….

If only! Then Jeet would not have fallen down and died. Perhaps he was running too fast. He blamed himself for Jeet’s death. He looked at the wheelchair at the corner of the room. Why did he have to live a life of guilt? If only he could have stopped Jeet in time.

He walked out of the room, with tears in his eyes. The feeling of guilt haunted him.

If only …





No one had ever noticed the cleverly cut brake cables of the wheelchair.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Ramblings

Why is it that things go awry
At times when we are happy
And content, prosperous, self satiated beings
Rational in thought and judgement

I gave my wrath to a parent
Who did not know
What to do with something
That he had neither contributed to nor understood

I gave my trust to a BFF
Who did not know
What to do with something
That she neither keep nor could break

I gave my dubiousness to a friend
Who did not know
What to do with something
That she neither had instigated nor had control over

I gave my heart to a man
Who did not know
What to do with something
That he neither desired nor could throw away

But most of all..
I gave my injustice to my soul
Wallowing in self pity
And indulgent in sadness
Not knowing the severity of my crime!