Welcome to the World of Idiosyncrasies

Hello and Welcome to my world. Here, you are free to feel as you feel without guarding your emotions, without acting matured and rational etc etc etc. Its an idiosyncratic world and you have every right to feel happy, sad, upset, cheerful, grumpy or whatever else you feel like! No judgements at all.
Oh, and while you enter, please leave you judgmental thinking, and stuck up attitude outside. It's a mad world in here already; and the least you could do is not add to the troubles. No one loves a drama llama ;)

Monday, July 28, 2008

Rang er Khela...

Biye te matro duto saari peyechhilo meye ta
Ashtomangolaye aaro ekta
Kintu taate theme thakeni jibon..
Swapno ki sudhu baroloker daas naki?
Laal, neel aar kamola..
Saari r ei teen rang niyei
Saajato se saari saari swapno
Laal rang mone koriye dito taake
Taar sinthir sindoor, haather pwala
Aar jiboner ushnotar katha..
Jaake ghire tar samoshto swapno
Shei maanushtir katha
Muukh tiipe haanshto se
Chupi chupi bolto se saari r kaane
"Tokke ghire ammar sarbosukh -
Tui holi ammar Laal pari.."

Neel aar kamola?
Taateo toh shei swapner chhorachhori
Neel rang bhalobashar
Aabeg er haath dhore snigdhotar jogot e hariye jaoya
Shakol byastotar modhheyeo khuje paoya nijeke
Shei neel aakasher buuk e
Aar kamola?
Se toh ashay bhoriye tole jibon
Kamola sokhi r paan e cheye bole othe meyeti
Peyechhilam tommay ammi upohaar e
Kintu jodi tommay dite chai agaami diner shurjo ta
Phelte paarbe ki ammar daabi?

Ei rang er khelay mete thaka
Kete gelo bochhor dui
Aar taar e maajhe kothay jeno
Olot paalot hoye gelo shomoshto hisheb
Jaar katha chhilo ushno aalingan e bhoriye rakhar
Shei jibon e niye elo sheetal ta
Taar kaamona aar moh er majhe
Meyetir natun naam holo "Kalonkini"
Haariye gelo shomoshto rang - Rang er khela..
Laal - Se ki aabeg nah aakrosh?
Neel bujhi sheetal ta?
Kamola surjo ta bhorer naki astacholer?
Ei sob er modhhei egiye chole jibon..
Sudhu muuchhe jaaye samoshto rang...

Aar roye jaaye -
Shaada aar Kaalo r Maruubhoomi...

Forgive Me

Forgive me for loving you
And I will forgive you for your indifference

Forgive me for wanting you
And I will forgive you for hating my guts

Forgive me for caring what happened to you
And I will forgive you for not bothering whether I lived or died

Forgive me for wanting to cry on your shoulder
And I will forgive you for handing me the tissue paper instead

Forgive me for dreaming about a life with you
And I will forgive you for taking away my dreams from me

Forgive me for pampering your emotions
And I will forgive you for playing with mine

Forgive me for showing up every time
And I will forgive you for conveniently vanishing whenever i needed you

Forgive me for being proud of our relationship
And I will forgive you for getting embarrassed whenever we got mentioned

Forgive me for wanting to be that support in your life
And I will forgive you for not wanting this unnecessary prop

Forgive me for loving you for what you are
And I will forgive you for hating me for what I could never become


You cannot ask me to write of courage
In a room
Filled with the breath of people
Who do not know me
Or hardly care about what i do
Papers shuffling,
Pens scribbling away furiously
A quick snatch of a word
Away from the eyes of the teacher

No; I am not courageous
Do you mind?
Do you care?
I have learnt that presents aren't promises
Neither are kisses contracts
But I am yet to learn
How to accept my faults
Till then...
"Courage" will be just another word for me!!

My English Lecture

I sit here in my class room
And see the proff delivering a lecture
On Bernard Shaw.
I look around at my class mates
Boring disinterested faces greet me.
Some reading novels
Some fiddling with their cell phones
Still others, making a brave effort
Not to doze off.
And me..?
I am trying to scribble something
To distract my attention
From the seductive call of sleep

A bus honks by rudely
I disinterestedly look outside the window
My gaze is held.
I stop, and stare.
Outside the premises,
Is a bustee
I see a poor boy
Peering attentively at something
He is six years old, maybe seven.
I crane my neck to intrude into his privacy
What I see, sends a chill down my spine
He is holding a paper,
And the refill of a pen -
Probably thrown out by one of us
And he is trying to write something!

I look back towards my class.
I see my designer clothes
I see my Woodland shoes
I see my air conditioned class room
And my expensive leather bag.
I see my brand new texts and copies
And for the first time,
I feel a pang of guilt in my heart!!

The Pied Piper's Pandemonium

It is a dark abyssmal world
And i go sinking
Deep down
Into some bottomless pit
Into some shelter
where i can hide

Because i am too scared to face this world
My mask has been ripped off..
I have been stripped naked
I am vulnerable
I am scared.
I don't want to get hurt.
It has happened before...but not anymore
Please God!! Not anymore

I see this rat race - game of Survival of the Fittest.
The fittest - but still a rat.
A filthy despicable rat
It manipulates justice with its tears
I despise it. I hate it.
Actually no - I pity it.
It uses silent weapons when I stand unarmed
Does it deserve pity even?

The rat is smirking at me
But no - wait!!
Where did the rat go?
Its face has merged into my friend's
I see more and more friends
No - I see more and more rats!
What is it that i see?
Friends? Rats?
I do not know!
I do not care! Not anymore.

But what about me?
I am still naked - stripped of my mask!
But no - the rats will not eat me up.
This is my Hamelin.
I will be my own piper
I will lead the rats to their fatal destiny..
But wait -
Before anything else i have to put on my mask

It suffocates me
I am dying inside it
I am helpless
But i will wait.
Till the last rat leaves my blessed Hamelin
Till the pandemonium is cleared.


When anger clamps clear reasoning and thought
When it seems I have lost all battles fought
When I think I am right, the world thinks I am not
When there is failure in all avenues sought

When all options seem to end
I am reminded of you my friend
Who for me all rules will bend
Who always has a patient ear to lend

Whose presence brightens my day
Who shows me an unventured way
Stay long after the last hope ray
And sticks by me, come what may

Who convinces the world that i am right
Looks at things from my point of sight
Who for the truth shall fight
Who sees in every darkness a ray of light

I try and try and break his patience
I ditch him and sever all his relations
And am i not justified in doing so?
After all i am a "Human Being"


Neela tumi shundor, tumi khoob bhalo
Neela tumi mishti, jodio tumi kaalo..
Neela ammar chhotto prithibir aalo

Ei chhilo biyer aage
Ammay niye tomar bhabna...
Diner modhhe katobaar je bolte
Neela, I love you - love you - love you.

Neela tommar haanshi etto shundor je tumi haanshle jeno
Sonali jhwarna neme aashe aakasher buuk e...
Aar tommar chuul? Tommar chuul dekhle mone hoy
Jeno amaboshhyar andhokaar neme eshechhe prithibir buuk e..

Aar aaj...?
Jokhon biyer duu bochhor purno hote cholechhe
Kato bodle gechho Neel tumi
Ekhon tomar Neelar haanshi, katha; kichhui bhalo laage nah tommar!!

Ei bhalobeshechhile Neel tumi ammay..
Je duu bochhorei haariye gelo tommar bhalobasha?

Tommar jonne Neel ammi Baba - Ma - Baari
Emonki nijer "surname" tao chhere diyechhilam...
Tar puroshkar shwaroop ei bujhi aaj tumi
Chhere chole jele ammay?

Ammar khoob jaante ichhe kore Neel
Tommar bhaalobasha, shei mishti - mishti katha,
Shei shob e tahole miththhe chhilo?

Ki nishthoor tumi Neel!
Sudhu ekta moh er jonne
Ettodiner somporko ke payer twolaye
Maariye dite paarle tummi Neel?

Ekdin katha diyechhile tumi
Tommar Neela ke tumi chharbe nah kokhono eka..
Othocho aaj Neela eka...
Ekdom eka...

Se ki khay, ki pore
Mukta r katha bhaabte giye
Neelar katha bhaabar
Sommoy tommar kothay?

Sunechhilam Neel,
Neela sabbar sojhho hoy nah..
Tobbe etta jaana chhilo nah je
Neelar sthaan Mukta o dokhol korte paare!!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Yun hi apne liye..

Raah chalte yun toh mile the kayee log
Nah jaane unn mein se kyun bhaa gaye tum?
Jaana tha ke dil todoge,
Par kaash ke tumhe samjha paati iss khokhli hansi ke peechey chhipa hai kaunsa afsaana..

Tumhe paakar lagaa tha ke paaya hai ek sahaara
Jo pyaar karega mujhe bina naap tol ke hi
Lekin tumne bhi dil mein nah jhaanka
Auron ki tarah,
Tum bhi dhokhe mein aa gaye iss chehre ki...