Jeet looked out of the window towards the setting sun & wondered why his life didn’t set down as the sun did. It was painful to live a life of guilt. Five years. Five years of guilt to be precise. His life had changed & there was just nothing that he could do about it. Tears welled in his eyes as he looked out of the window. If only it had not happened, life would have been so different.
He was jolted out of his thoughts by the loud arguments between his nephews. He looked at them. The thoughts came tumbling back to his mind. He was the one who had turned them into orphans. If only that wretched accident had not taken place. If only……..
It had been a day to celebrate when his wife had told him that she was expecting their first child. His happiness had known no bounds. “A dinner followed by a drive” was what they had planned. His sister and her husband had also joined them. They had decided to leave the kids at home. After all, it was not often that they got the chance to spend time on their own. They went for a long drive.
“One wrong turn and down you go!” Jeet had always said. He had been a safe driver, but not that day. The music in the car had been too loud for them to hear the honk of the oncoming truck. By the time he realized, it was too late. He swerved the car and it hit against the ratings.
The next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital.
It had been a head-on collision. No one had survived. The doctors had given up hope on him too. They had said that he too would not survive. But survive he did. Survived to live the life of guilt.
The accident had left him paralyzed. If only he had been a little more careful, the accident would not have taken place. His survival haunted him. The guilt was unbearable. He always wished that he had died along with the others, but fate had not decided that for him. If only he had not survived, he would not be living in his world of guilt. If only nobody had died in the accident ……….. Why did it happen to him? Why did he have to live a life of guilt? if only he could do something… if only… that was all that he thought all the while …… if only!
He was jolted out of his thoughts by his nephews who were arguing in the corridor. It was their daily routine to play cricked in the long corridor! He looked at them with tears in his eyes. He blamed himself for turning them into orphans.
“Uncle, here is your food.”
He looked on, the feeling of guilt engulfing him.
“Uncle, here is your dinner,” said Sahil, his eldest nephew. Jeet looked at him and smiled, “No, I shall join you at the dining table tonight. Can you wheel me there?” His nephew shot an amazed glance. Was he hearing right? He was delighted. Jeet’s parents looked at each other when they saw Sahil wheeling Jeet to the dining table. At last he was coming out of his cocoon. They were glad that he was making an attempt to get out of his shell.
It was during one of the cricket games his nephews were playing that the through crossed his mind. It was one of the usual arguments when he intervened, “Why don’t you let me be the umpire? I know the game well, and of course, you will not argue either,” he said. His nephews were game for it, and then he joined them every evening to play with them.
“Why don’t I also play with you all?” he asked, “one of you could wheel me and we can really have a good time. His nephews readily agreed. It was nice to see their uncle participate in their game. And it was during one of these games that it happened……
Sahil was wheeling his uncle to take the run, and it happened in a matter of seconds. Sahil stopped, but his uncle on the wheel chair didn’t. Sahil watched in horror as he saw Jeet fall down the long winding staircase. He saw him cringe in pain for a few seconds. When he reached down, Jeet was a mere lifeless lump.
Two years later …….
Sahil looked out of the window towards the setting sun. Tears in his eyes he wondered why did it happen?
If only, he had run slowly ….
If only! Then Jeet would not have fallen down and died. Perhaps he was running too fast. He blamed himself for Jeet’s death. He looked at the wheelchair at the corner of the room. Why did he have to live a life of guilt? If only he could have stopped Jeet in time.
He walked out of the room, with tears in his eyes. The feeling of guilt haunted him.
If only …
No one had ever noticed the cleverly cut brake cables of the wheelchair.
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