Raat Ka Kirdaar

Apni sisakti subakti
Aahaton ki baahon mein chupi raat ne
Apne mathey pe padi silvaton se poocha
Kyun karte hain log mujhse nafrat?
Main itni napaak toh nahi

Mathey ki silvatein bol padi
Nafrat kahan meri jaan
Yeh toh mohabbat hai

Bojhal aankhon ko uthakar
Raat ne poocha,
Kya tumhe sach mein
Unka doglapan nazar nahi aata?

Har aashique mera deewana hai
Maashuqa se meri baatein karta hai
Lekin raat ko bahar nikalne se
Khud darta hai, usey bhi mana karta hai

Mere aagosh mein liptey chand sitaron ki
Duhai har koi deta hai
Yaar dost dildaar daawatein
Har ek ki raunak mujh se hai

Thaki aankhon mein neend ki sargoshi
Aansuon mein chhipi bebak khamoshi
Pyaar mohabbat Fiqr tanhai
Har ek ki hasti mujh se hai

Par bhool jaata hai insaan yeh saari baatein
Sirf chor uchakkey yaad rehte hain
Ehtiyaat barat te hain, aagah karte hain
Sabko meri buraiyan kehte hain

Insaan ne hi chori ki
Izzat pe kisike vaar kiya
Ismein mera kya gunah?
Tuney mujh ko kyu bekirdaar kiya?

Silvatein chup baithi hain
Unke paas koi jawab nahi
Dhoond raha hai raat bhi uss shaks ko
Jo kehde,
Mujhe pasand mehtab nahi

Post hibernation post - Girl, It's Your Destiny

Okay, this is yet another attempt by me to come out of hibernation (read semi dead) since my last post was more than 5 years ago! This is something that I wrote quite a while back; and boy! can you see that I was upset. I have no idea what made me feel so unhappy and lost in life, but I am happy to report that I feel much better now. Not that lost anymore, well almost! But since I did feel what I feel, I thought it was best to post it here instead of let it remain as a scrap of paper. Because at the end of the day, feelings, however transient, are still feelings. They are a part of us, a part of who we are.

How dare you spread your wings
How dare you dream of flying
Girl, it's your destiny
Extreme low you need to keep lying

Faces one and faces all
Sweetest of all lies they say
Girl, it's your destiny
In the grip of trap you lay

They know that you are brave and strong
Difficult you have been to break
Girl, it's your destiny
It was never your call to take

As you lay broken and shattered
You wonder what was it that went wrong
Girl, is it really your destiny
To be crushed so hard and so long

Don't you try to get up now
Don't you try to find any reason
Girl, it's your punishment
For seeing life with enthusiasm and passion

For You

Ever missed someone so much that you wanted to pick them up from your memories and hug them?

I am miserable.
I miss you but I am scared to show it.
I want to talk to you but would hate to disturb you.
I want to hear your voice but fear being seen as desperate.
I want to hold your hand but am not courageous enough to make the first move.
I want to keep looking into your eyes but I ask you to not look at me instead!
Yes, I am miserable.
Miserably in love!

You are pathetic.
Do you miss me as badly as I do?
Do you want to talk to me till the end of this world?
Do you want to hear my voice just as badly as I want to hear yours?
Do you want to hold my hand till the day I die?
Will you look into my eyes as if time has stopped and as if there is no tomorrow?
Yes, you are pathetic.
But will you be pathetically in love with me? Forever?

Momentary

Isn't it strange that how there are always certain things that become more evident when we voice them, or perhaps, when they fall in retrospective of our situation or condition? For instance, they say that "Time is a great healer." We, however, I feel; probably do not realize its good and bad unless we face it's impact in our lives.

Two days ago, forgetting you seemed like the end of the world. Tears welled up every time I thought how you left mid-way; leaving so many things unsaid and unheard! Almost like stranding the conversation. Well then, was it wrong that I missed you? "You" who weren't my boyfriend, not even a close friend or a confidante even? Is it wrong to miss a random stranger for whom I develop a liking?

Then be it!! Cuz it doesn't work that way and I did miss you. But this too shall pass. Just as the pain has, the happy times spent with you have....this too, shall pass.
What remains is an emptiness. A longing. Of what? you might ask. I fear I know not the answer.. But who knows? Maybe the longing shall pass too! To be replaced by happy thoughts, memories, pain, further expectations and more longing.

And then...that too shall pass!



What remains then?

I am the "Nothing" Girl

Maybe I like straight cut jeans
and salwar suit with flip-flops,
Maybe I don't like listening to rock music
and I'm not on the social mountaintops,
Maybe I don't care about the things
that make your worlds twirl,
Maybe you look at me and think:
See, what a nothing girl.

Maybe I like giving smiles
which seems to be a sin today,
And maybe I allow my imagination
to sometimes run away,
Maybe you don't understand this
and that's why you cannot see.
If this makes me a nothing girl,
Hey, that's absolutely ok with me!

The world makes you believe
your personality mustn't be detected,
Your face must be picture perfect
and wear clothes just the best, to be accepted.

But maybe..
Just maybe you know?
I look at you
and feel sorry that you're blind,
Robots you have became,
yourself you'll never find!!

Sapno Ka Vyapaar

Rishton ki iss andher nagri mein
Ek kolaahal sa chhaya hai,
Jhoothey vaade aur sasti kasmein lekar
Aaj phir ek lutera aaya hai

Pehchaan nahi paayega koi jhooth ko
Aisi uski maya hai,
Sunehrey sapney dikhata hai woh, Lage ke
Jaise aankhon pe pada koi saaya hai

Chhal kapat sab jeetey uskey
Aaj dil ko phir koi bhaaya hai

...

Bikhra chahat, yaadein kasmein bikhri
Bewafai ko bhi aisi wafa se usne nibhaya hai

Iss kadar huwa vaar, na sambhley hum
Pyaar bhi aaj lajaya hai,
Tanha chal pade the kabhi jis raah pe
Khud ko aaj wahin phir se tanha paaya hai

Kuchh Kahee Kuchh Ankahee

Jab rooh bojhal ho aati hai
Aankhein ho padti hai num,
Jo tum nahi toh kis se bhala
Kahengey dil ki baatein hum?

Jab uljhan mein hota hai mann
Jab karwat leti hai dhadkan,
Jo tum nahi toh kis se bhala
Kahengey dil ki baatein hum?

Jab dimag hota hai bechain
Jab uski dil se hoti hain anban,
Jo tum nahi toh kis se bhala
Kahengey dil ki baatein hum?

Jab tark shakti pe parda sa chhaye
Jab khud se khud ko ho uljhan,
Jo tum nahi toh kis se bhala
Kahengey dil ki baatein hum?